The Internet

I have a strange relationship with my computer. Periods of time will go by when I am on every day. I spend lots of time browsing MDC and other similar websites and perhaps blogs. I read about knitting. The kids and I look up random things such as the configuration of the galaxy (we can do that~ thank you unschooling:o)). And quite honestly, after a while, it becomes my escape. The kids start screaming and yelling and demanding, and I sit down to nurse the baby and pop the laptop open. I don't like it when I use it like that. I can zone out for quite a while. Nursing baby, prolactin flowing~ aaaaaaaah. I can barely hear the fighting.

Soon I have to come back to reality; and in all honesty, "quite a while" for me is 15 minutes or so. But I don't feel refreshed, as I feel when I have truly taken time for myself~ a bath, a walk, etc. Instead I am more frustrated and find it even harder to continue on with my day.

Then I have periods such as the one I happen to be in now. I'm not sure why or how this starts, but suddenly while cruising around the internet, I am bored. I lose interest in the goings-on of other people's lives. I get much more immersed in my family again. The time I spend on the computer is minimal and it doesn't bother me that it is.

The internet is a crazy place anyway. It's not real, and it is, at the same time. I type words into my computer to try and help someone, or give my opinion, or just vent, and I know that somehow, someone somewhere could make the decision to delete it all. Weird.

I've been told that those who followed my generation have a different perspective. Part of me is sad for that. We miss so much when we sacrifice our face to face and even phone interactions. I think it's important to be in a space where your family and real-life friends are all-consuming.

I'm sure I'll be back on-line with more frequency again. It is one of the things I do while waiting for my husband to get home from work at night, after all. As in all things, I imagine the key is moderation.